


safe with you.

by earltrancy



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Second Person, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 10:25:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16700719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earltrancy/pseuds/earltrancy
Summary: He never explained, so you never pried. Just held him in your arms and comforted him until he knew he was safe.





	safe with you.

You'd never wished death on anyone until that night. 

It had happened before, a few times. Julian on his knees before you, lips still wet as they went slack, eyes still shining as they went vacant; Julian in your lap, his hands wandering your skin suddenly closing like a vice, grip halting you, _hurting_ you, a scathing glare marring his face as he pushed you away. 

He never explained, so you never pried. Just held him in your arms and comforted him until he knew he was safe. 

But that night it was different. 

He was so beautiful beneath you, his cheeks all the way down his neck and chest flushed that pretty red, muscles flexing with every touch, every thrust. Arms twitching where his belt held them in place – his idea – involuntarily straining to touch you. 

“So gorgeous,” you told him, because you couldn't help but praise him. Reverently, you said his name, but not how you called him; not Jules, but _“Ilya.”_

You didn't notice, couldn't notice, but that difference echoed through his mind. _Ilya, Ilya._

What you did notice, later than you should have, was that he was crying all but silently. 

Like he didn't _want_ you to notice. 

But when your eyes met, the dam broke. He looked at you with something like fear, or maybe desperation, and he cried. 

Immediately, you went to free his wrists, then gently pulled out of him before surging up to kiss the corner of his mouth; you pressed your forehead to his and cupped his face, and tried not to sound frantic as you soothed him. “Baby, baby. You're alright. I'm here, Julian, I'm here.”

You didn't feel your magic reaching out to him until it was too late, and then your head spun with confusion until you looked up into familiar violet eyes, more austere than you'd ever seen them. 

“Asra?” you tried to say, but your voice didn't come. 

Then, in Julian's voice, you heard, “Stop.”

The sound was so weak. Broken. 

Asra cocked his head and smiled, a gesture you'd seen him make at least a million times, but now, for some reason, it struck you with terror. 

“Isn't this what you wanted? Anything you could get?”

He moved forward, and you felt a rush of pleasure, then a wave of shame. Julian's voice came again with a shuddering gasp. 

“You really do hate yourself, don't you?” Your master's voice was so cold, the edge of amusement in it making your stomach turn. “Making you feel awful probably just makes you love me more.”

“I'm sorry – I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” You could feel the thousand other thoughts swirling in Julian's brain, and the frustration that this was the only one he could vocalize. 

Asra laughed once before leaning down to whisper, “You’re pathetic, Ilya.”

A second later, and you were staring back into grey eyes still filled with the same terror you'd just felt with Julian. 

You slipped a hand into his, used the other to hold his face. “Julian, sweetheart,” you mumbled, keeping your voice low. “Shh, Jules. You're okay. You're okay, darling.”

His breathing started to slow down again. 

“Come back to me, sweet boy, that's it,” you praised, fingers running through his hair now. “We can stop, baby. I'm right here. I won't hurt you.”

Finally, he looked up at you, and you smiled proudly and kissed him. 

He looked at you happily for a second before his face crumpled in shame. “I- Oh, MC, I'm sorry,” he stuttered, and you winced at the echo. 

He looked so _guilty._

Julian wiggled up the headboard and pulled you into his arms. Tentatively. Like he wasn't sure if you wanted him there. 

Like he was a burden. 

“Jules, shut up,” you said sadly, kissing him and cuddling closer. “I'm happy you came back to me. I'm proud of you, alright?”

At last, he smiled, tucking his head under your chin. “I love you.”

You pulled one of the blankets up over the both of you and kissed the top of his head. “I love you, too.”

Julian wasn't a murderer. 

But you might be yet.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: mysticmalarkey


End file.
